The Braid Bunch

We’re born into a community of individuals – OK, let’s call it a family – in which each individual trundles through life with particular sets of needs, expectations and values. According to Eric Berne, father of Transactional Analysis, this baggage tends to be passed through succeeding generations in a predictable pattern:

  • Mothers develop their needs, expectations and values through their relationship with their fathers and express them with their sons;
  • Fathers develop the same through their relationship with their mothers, expressing them with their daughters.

If you are a woman, Berne suggests, take a look at your father’s mom and see if there is anything you recognize in yourself. Men can do the same with their mother’s dad. For a clearer sense of the good, the bad and the ugly in the qualities you are probably seeking in a mate, take a close look at the other grandparent in this same couple.

There’s good news if you spotted anything you’d rather not have seen: recognizing these kinds of patterns is the first step to doing things differently.  Welcome to the world of choice!