Alexandra Clark was disillusioned with her job and fed up with the direction her life was taking. For Alexandra, it all boiled down to her being surrounded by frustrating people: her boss was ineffectual, her colleagues self-absorbed, her family manipulative and her friends unavailable. By the time Alexandra began her coaching sessions, she had already cut contact with most of the people from her personal life. She was now thinking seriously about quitting her well-paying and steady job – a move she knew she could ill afford.
Coaching quickly became a place for Alexandra to develop a new awareness of herself. It was as if all her difficulties were played back to her. “You’re hearing how you sound, how you’re saying something, how you’re thinking.” Alexandra heard herself echoing the communication styles, assumptions and expectations that drove her crazy in her family. She got to see how sensitive she was about certain things and how she would tend to give too much of herself in certain situations.
Through hearing hers own words in a situation free of judgement and instruction, Alexandra’s attention had shifted. She was no longer preoccupied by the faults she saw in others. She was now focused on spotting opportunities for her own development of practical skills and habits to handle day-to-day challenges. “In every coach session we would always revert back to the practical.” Over the following months Alexandra’s sessions concentrated on her integrating simple, effective strategies for maintaining emotional equilibrium, setting appropriate relationship boundaries and establishing personal priorities.
Alexandra decided to remain at her job, lopping 20 per cent of her full-time hours off her schedule so that she could pursue other interests and opportunities for professional development. Alexandra has established sustainable relations with members of her family and continues to build new friendships and connections through her new pursuits. “Coaching really has made a big difference for me. Robert helps you find the right tools to be who you want to be.”