End Self-Sabotage

If you’ve ever been on a team in a tug-of-war, you know what it’s like to expend tremendous amounts of energy without moving an inch. Self-sabotage is a tug-of-war within yourself; two sides pulling in opposing directions and getting nowhere. Now imagine how quickly you would get somewhere if both teams were pulling in the same direction.



Self-sabotage happens when a conscious intention clashes with an unconscious need. If you’ve ever caught yourself saying something like “I don’t know what came over me”, or “I’m just not myself”, or “one part of me wants … while another part wants …” you’ve experienced self-sabotage. The expectations you have of yourself were at cross-purposes with your behaviour.

Here’s another example: say you want to earn more money, but that desire clashes with your self-image as a good parent or partner. The logic goes like this: earn more money = do more work = spend more time working = less time with family. You may consciously realize that “earn more money” does not necessarily equal “less time with family”. You may have friends or colleagues setting clear examples of how “earn more money” does not equal “less time with family”. You may not even be consciously aware that, for you, “earn more money” equals “less time with family” – you just can’t get going on earning more money; perhaps rationalizing it as an example of laziness, disorganization, lack of conviction, or inclination to procrastinate.

Ending self-sabotage not only aligns what you want with what you do; it reduces the cycle of negative self-talk discouraging your self-appreciation and confidence to move forward in all areas of your life.


Self-sabotage is your unconscious mind’s main way of ensuring you do not break one of your deeply held beliefs or values. The behaviour resulting from self-sabotage may cause disappointment, confusion, or havoc in your life; still it begins with a positive intention to stay true to something that matters greatly. By reconciling this clash between your conscious and unconscious intentions, you can eliminate self-sabotage and allow all of you to pull in the same direction.


For over three decades, NLP has been used by luminaries such as Bill Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, J.K. Rowling, Tiger Woods, Bill Gates, and Barrack Obama. NLP integrates desired emotional and behavioural responses to overcome challenges ranging from corrosive self-talk and poor self-management to chronic performance failure and debilitating phobias. NLP focuses on how thoughts are unconsciously constructed and elicited. In addressing self-sabotage, NLP methodologies and tools can be used to quickly reframe counterproductive assumptions and strategies, overcoming self-defeating perceptions and behaviours.

Ending self-sabotage typically involves a single in-person session lasting from 15 to 45 minutes in which you are lead thorough a series of visualizations and questions. This process provides you with new understandings into the roots of your self-sabotage and clear insight as to how you will accomplish the outcome your want.

For more on how NLP can help you end self-sabotage, drop me a line at robert@lifecoachmontreal.ca or call (438) 288-6569.